The Conservative Comedy Revolution.

In the earlier post my old buddy Scott had stated that the Tea Party wasn’t funny.  Well, he is wrong.  They are actually very funny in a visually stunning kind of way.  There is something about a fat, white woman, shaking her head while she gets pulverized about the face and neck with sacks of tea.  It’s an image that conjures up, not only the Bruce skit by Monty Python (If you have seen it you know what I mean) but just the thought of that woman getting tea bagged makes you chuckle in that part of your soul that is young, carefree and still discovering boobies.  The Tea Party is ironically funny because they are pretending that they are Libertarians who also happen to believe the government should be more religious as well as compare their ridiculous, homophobia, xenophobia and  Peniaphobia to some brave men that basically kick started the American Revolution.  Not wanting to pay taxes or attempt to move the country toward a more altruistic society is not being a patriot, it’s being a silly cunt and silly cunts make me laugh.  They also remind me somewhat of Scrooge McDuck, since I spent a few years smoking pot and watching Duck Tales, this also make me laugh.  Rock solid proof that the Tea Party is funny.  So what’s not funny?  Religious comics.

Yes, all that writing before was build up to this.  I love comedy, it is the greatest thing on the face of the planet.  Just sitting in a comedy club, watching aspiring comics eat a fat bag of dicks on stage is wonderful.  I grew up on comedy, Marx Brothers, Abbot and Costello, The Young Ones, the fore mentioned Monty Python, Douglas Adams, Peter Sellers, Terry Pratchett, Lewis and Martin, Oh the list could go on ad infinitum you get it, I love comedy but one thing I love more is really bad comedy.  Sitting through a really bad comedy show is like the most exquisite form of mental self torture I could ever muster.  It is as close to a religious experience, or torture orgasm, which are one in the same, that I have ever gotten.  That said, when the church down the street had a sign that said ” Free Comedy”, I went for it.  A dying comic is one thing, twisting on stage and sweating it out, I get that, I do that, it sucks but we all love to watch others go through it for the learning experience it is.  Now religious comics, they are another kind of shit storm.  They don’t know how horrid they are.  There is no understanding of the lack of actual joke.  Their filthy humor is so clean you could use it to prep a surgery,  in brief,  it is god fucking awful but they all think they are hilarious.  If you have never gone to a church comedy show, oh do, please do.  It is so bloody terrible.  The last one I saw was a a sketch group.  They had jokes about the heat of candle wax and a thing where one guy said “I don’t know what Jesus had to die for” and the other guy poked his chest and said ” Jesus died for this” and the first guy said “Jesus died for my sweater”? and at that point everyone in the church laughed and roared and my brain turned to molten shit and I died,  not really, close though.  A lot of churches in Minnesota are having these comedy nights and I am sure you could find them where ever you are too.  If you appreciate comics like Stanhope, C.K., Pryor, Black or Carlin and the way they made or make you look at what the wholesome among us feel is below them to snicker at, you need to find one of these church comedy shows.  It will not only make you love and respect comics that push at societies completely arbitrary taboos but it will make you, if you are anything like me, strangely horny too.  Something about overly wholesome women in flowered dresses and military issue undergarments, bosoms heaving in outrageous fits of laughter at nonsensical gibberish, also the six beers I have to slam to even consider going anywhere near a church.

Hugs and squeezes, Joe.

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