Just over a year ago, an acquaintance of mine posted a video on Facebook of a smug little shit-stain in a stripper’s cop uniform reading a list of statistics about black on black crime in a completely-missing-the-point attempt to discredit Black Live Matter protests against police violence. I watched the video for 30 seconds before thinking, what a cunt, turning it off, and moving on with my life. There are two reasons I remember that video. One, he had frosted tips and remembering that I got laid a whole lot in 1998, I got really excited. Sadly I hadn’t fallen through a wormhole back to 1998, as evidenced the the fact that I was on Facebook watching a Youtube video and refusing to even try to understand Snapchat(it was a way to send people naked pics but they couldn’t keep it because the picture deletes itself after 5 seconds or something but now ya’ll are talking about it like it’s the new Instagram, which I also refuse to understand the point of, something about yoga pants). Two, less than an hour after I figured I’d never had to hear about that little prick again, Twitter was going nuts about this racist queen that writes for Breitbart(Ya’ll are just making up words now, I thought, but then all words are made up so fair play) who was apparently saying some insensitive things about Black Lives Matter. Well shit, said I, I guess this asshole is in my life now.
I’ll spare you a recap of all the shit I’ve read about Milo Yiannahsoauuafa this last year, you can do the research yourself if your sense of self-loathing is that strong. Instead let’s fast forward to his recent appearance on Real Time: with Bill Maher. In case you missed it, Maher, an intermittently funny talk show host who occasionally gives the appearance of having the capacity for critical thought, sat down with that one gay kid who, if he was getting beaten up by the jocks in high school, you really had an internal struggle about intervening. Sure, it goes against everything you believe in to let them attack him being gay, but he’s such an intolerable, self-important little shit. The interview, if you can even call it that, was pathetic. First Bill Maher sat down with Milo Analpolice for a one on one interview, then brought him in for the full panel consisting of Larry Wilmore, some dude from the NSA, and some Republican asshole. Milo — who is shockingly even more ignorant than he is full of shit — spent the entire time saying incorrect things and pretended that they were somehow valid because of how cruel they were. For instance, he claimed that transgender people are “disproportionately involved in sex crimes” which is sort of accurate if you know that they’re the victims of sex crimes and not the perpetrators. There were two striking things about this exchange1. The first is that two people told Milo Cityiwouldnevervisit to go fuck himself, and the second was that I realized exactly, with no doubt in my mind, who is to blame for that bloated, leather-faced basket of syphilis currently sitting in the oval office. What’s important about these two revelations, is that they’re profoundly linked.
The reason these two things are linked is that Milo Yusefislam should never have, in his entire writing career, have heard anything other than “go fuck yourself.” No, we won’t publish you, go fuck yourself. No, you can’t speak at our campus because you’re a moron, go fuck yourself. Instead of having a voice on the national stage, he should be doing the only thing he’s qualified for: rolling his eyes at the customer who doesn’t want to pay extra for new car scent. But it was liberals who gave him a voice and they continue to do so. When the guy on the street pushing the shopping cart starts yelling racial slurs, you don’t write about him on Huffpo, you nervously walk away and later, when the guilt sets in, tell your wife how you’d should have given him a couple bucks. But somehow, we’ve made one of those crazy hobos the voice of free speech, and the other President of the fucking goddamn United States! You fucking assholes!
Milo’s 3rd grade ramblings should have been utterly ignored, just as Comically Obese Oompa Loompa’s outrageous statements should have been met with “aw, he thinks he’s people.” They shit their pants for attention and you validated them by yelling at them, thereby emboldening all the other pants-shitters to break from watching/being on Maury’s baby-daddy episodes and mobilize. And to top it all off, Bill fucking Maher had this little turd on his show, and placated him because he said one reasonable-ish thing. Yes, PC culture has, at times, been very annoying by wrongheadedly attacking stand up comics and intellectuals who want to discuss uncomfortable topics. It has happened. And there’s an annoying part of the internet that will lose its mind if you don’t put an asterisk in place of at least one letter when using the word “tranny.” I’ll concede those people exist. However, next time a politician or pundit complains about “political correctness,” pretend they said “kindness” instead. You’ll be surprised how often they’re interchangeable. Confidently stating incorrect information isn’t sticking it to the PC-Police, it’s just being wrong. You don’t react to people trying to piss you off by getting pissed off. You leave them in a room all by themselves and let them tire themselves out.
And this problem lies 100% with the left. There is no left wing equivalent of Milo Thermopoli because the right just ignores our assholes. In fact, they scoff at literally anything that disagrees with them because they’re morons. Conservative voters are wholly motivated by their ever changing perception of being against liberals with no thought to having any real principles. It was this motivation that rallied them behind a bloated man-child who rapes women2 and gets his news from the bathroom walls of an asylum that caters exclusively to patients who think they’re Hermann Goering.
So please stop clicking on stories by or about Milo Necropolis. Stop picketing his appearances and demanding he not be allowed to speak. And certainly stop rioting over this goon. If you simply don’t show up, you’ve effectively silenced him. I’m fully aware that we should be versed in the arguments of the opposition, but he’s not the opposition. William F. Buckely Jr. was the opposition. He deserved your attention and respect. Milo Lalapallooza is the kid who poops himself trying to light his farts. Yeah, it was funny once, but after a while you feel like he’s doing it on purpose for the attention, so you should stop watching.
1There was a third striking thing, and it happened to be the most offensive thing I’ve heard in years. Bill Maher, an atheist who couldn’t make his case against fairy tales without false information in his stupid documentary, compared Milo YouAnOctopus to the late Christopher Hitchens. Hitchens dedicated his life to seeking truth. His expert use of the English language made Merriam Webster commit suicide. Milo YooperMackinac’s entire anthology is the equivalent of an “I’m with stoopid” t-shirt on someone standing on the wrong side.